Basically, what I'm looking for is this script:
http://forum.egghelp.org/viewtopic.php?t=16594
Written to pull the data from Texts From Last Night's random feed:
http://textsfromlastnight.com/random/
I'm still pretty new to TCL and the such, so it's still a little confusing to me. If someone could help me out with this or give me a helping hand in the right direction, it'd be appreciated.