1) Pick two bots, one a control bot and another that's meant to respond. Please stick to those two bots and give their names so that I can refer to them easily.
2) Make sure you are in the console of both the control bot and responding bot. When you do a .netinfo, do you see any messages in either bot? If so, paste them here.
3) On both bots, type .netbots, and make sure the other bot appears in the list.
well it seems to be sorted now... the problem seemed to be that .netbots add <hub> on the leafs... wasn't adding the +N flag... if i did that manually it works.... inviting is working too